Further Up and Further In

To some of you reading this post, it might seem a little strange. The experience was new for me and a little strange at first. If you're not too sure about who God, who Jesus really is, it will seem really strange. I invite you to read this, or not. Feel free to ask me questions; I just wanted to share what God has been doing in our lives this weekend.

In C.S. Lewis' The Last Battle, the children enter into heaven at the end of Narnia's time. As they do, one of their group cries, "Come further up and further in!" They continue on and find each part of the new country to be more beautiful and big than they could have imagined.

I've known Jesus for a while now, been part of his kingdom, stepped inside. However, this weekend Patrick and I were able to take part in a "further up and further in" experience that showed us more of how beautiful life with Jesus can be.

On Saturday and Monday, Patrick and I took part in a prayer time with Isaiah 61 Ministries (If you live in the area, we definitely encourage you to check them out. If you don't, reading some of the testimonies is pretty amazing). They are a ministry who believes that Jesus still heals and sets people free TODAY and that he has given believers authority to break patterns of sin, consequences of sin passed down through our families, and any holds Satan might have on us.

I have to admit that when I first heard about this type of ministry, I was skeptical and kind of freaked out. Sometimes, I think it is easier to think we're independent Americans: we determine our own destiny, we're not affected by our pasts, evil spirits can't really keep us down...right? Well, I know that while I know and love Jesus, I have struggled with fear for years and as you've read, been affected by physical symptoms for the past six months. I had heard a girl from our church tell how God had healed her of multiple food allergies, and she wasn't weird, and I knew my in-laws respected the couple who runs the ministry, so we decided to step out in faith and give this thing a try.

In a really beautiful setting in the woods (a little cottage with comfy couches they use for these prayer times), Roger led us through three different sessions. In the first, he asked a lot of questions about our applications, getting a sense of our pasts/ancestors, our struggles, our experiences, and our relationship with God. In the second session, he led us in a prayer to say "no" to the consequences of sin that had been passed down to us  or that had been our choice and to forgive anyone we needed to. In the third session, he prayed calmly and firmly over any evil spirits that may have been keeping us from living in complete freedom with Jesus.

I know it sounds strange, but it was not a scary, weird, or "out-there" time. We experienced some very real healing (spiritually, emotionally, physically), and I have a few reflections as I look back at what I learned/experienced in the past few days.

• Jesus is so sorry. After Roger led me through processing some painful memories/struggles, we paused to pray and ask God to reveal himself. The image I saw was so beautiful and intimate, I didn't want to share it when he asked, and I was brought to a lot of tears. In my heart, I saw Jesus: hand on either side of my face, forehead pressed against mine. He was saying he was sorry, sorry for the pain. He then bent down to kiss my heart, then my belly. I felt a blessing over my past scars and my future child. What a sweet, sweet gift. 
• There is an order that God has created that is more important than I realized. Roger spoke a lot about Patrick's God-given authority over me and over our home. He prayed for Patrick first, asked Patrick's permission to minister to me, had Patrick step in a certain times to pray. As a "thoroughly modern" woman, this can seem strange or even backwards. However, there was security in knowing that I am not in control, and that I have a protector. It was amazing to see Patrick's rise to confidence/God-given leadership, and there were several times when I didn't feel at peace until Patrick was the one to pray for or against something. 
• The spiritual world is real, something I deny far too often. The thing Satan wants most is to sink us down in despair, frustration, strong patterns and lost thoughts. He wants us to think that these things are all our fault. Evil is real and can affect us. I experienced definite release from evil several times during our prayer time and feel more at peace this morning than I have felt in many, many years. 
•  We inherit consequences from sin, sometimes from generations and generations back. This was a new concept for me. I had always thought that once you knew Jesus, you could just move forward from there. In many ways, this is true. However, many of the things we struggle with, even as believers, are things we had no control over receiving. Jesus came to break consequences of sin that we did not choose, but we need to say "no" to them and ask him to free us.
• Finally, and most importantly, we have authority as followers of Jesus that we rarely exercise. I had just assumed that if something bad happens to us: we become sick or struggle or get hurt, we could only beg God to act or deal with what hand we are given. This isn't true! The idea is pretty revolutionary to me. I can say "no" (because of Jesus and in the power of his name) to sin, to wrong thinking, even to pain. For example, I learned I can say, "In Jesus' name, the pain in my hand needs to stop. It has no right to be there." It still feels weird, but God has given us power as his children and through his Spirit. The early church walked this way all the time. It's a very new idea for us though, one we'll be sorting out for a long time...

So, there it is, to the best my words can describe it. I hope you take the questions you might have about what we experienced to God, to us, to others you trust. It was a different experience for me too, but one that I believe has given God more space in my life. I hope more than anything though, that you too would know in increasing measure the freedom that we have in Jesus, the hope we can hold on to, and the love God wants to pour out in our lives if given the room to do so. Happy Tuesday!