Waiting for Daddy...

Every day around 5:30, I get a little antsy.

I straighten my hair. We do a quick sweep of our toys. I might even put a headband on Elisa to brighten up her outfit. We wait expectantly on the couch.

You see, any time between 6:00 and 6:30, our favorite person comes to the back door: "daddy."

Valentine's Day

I know that no matter what kind of day I've had, "daddy" will comfort both Elisa and I. I know that I can ask  "daddy" any questions that have been swirling around in my head all day and that he will help bring clarity, perspective, and hope. I know most of all, that I can rest all evening, knowing that  "daddy" is with us, protecting us and giving us the best gift: himself. I get excited even hearing his keys jingle in the lock.

Tonight, right around 5:30, I was struck by the fact that while I look forward each day to Patrick's return, I have never been able to find peace expecting Jesus'. 

I remember the first time I was afraid of Jesus' second coming. We sang "Shout to the Lord" in Sunday school and our teacher explained what the lines "mountains will bow and the seas will roar" meant that one day earth would respond in big ways to Jesus reigning again, this time forever. The idea terrified me. 

Fast forward through anxiety attacks over scary headlines, endless mind games over numbers and doomsday   announcements, counseling sessions in college, sleepless nights and crying behind the wheel or in the classroom or in the bathroom at a party where someone made a flippant comment about the end of the world. 

As someone who fears the unknown, who has a vivid (and often fearful) imagination, and who is "anxiously put together," the events surrounding Jesus coming back in a blaze of glory have often left me sick and weak at the knees. 

But what if I remember I am just waiting for "daddy?" My heavenly daddy is coming home. He promised he would. He will be there to comfort me and wipe away every tear from my eyes. He will answer every question that has ever twisted my gut or my memories. He will provide rest, protection, and the best gift: himself. 

"Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:1-4 (NIV)

What if instead of fearing what seems like signs of Jesus coming soon, I think of them as keys jingling in the lock that holds this whole world under a curse? What if we prepared our hearts and our lives, not out of fear, but because we want our "houses" in order, our appearance beautiful when our "Daddy" comes home at just the right time? 

To be completely honest, I live in eager expectation of Patrick more than Jesus because I know Patrick better. I know his heart toward me and what he will bring into our home. I haven't always known Jesus and so his return brings me fear. 

I want to change that. 

My new heart, to the end of my days, is to learn to love Jesus more and more. To study Scripture to learn his heart toward me. To watch how he is working in lives around me and around the world to know what he will bring into our home. 

If I do fall in love with this good God who bled for us, fear of the future will have no more place.  

I'll simply be waiting to meet our Daddy at the door.